There are many books out there about relationships. Many of them are written by experts or people who have been married for decades. I personally have gotten excellent advice from my own friends. They may not be the most reliable source of wisdom, but I find that they provide me with relatable advice. Most of my friends first starting dating their husbands more than 10 years ago and most before the age of 21. Now of course when I was single this wasn’t the best group to go to, but when it comes to long-term relationships I tend to pay attention. Here is the best relationship advice my friends have given me.
What annoys you about your partner does not go away? Can you live with it?
It is hard for someone to change, especially bad habits. So if what annoys you about your partner seams unbearable than good luck trying to live with it. Also, marriage tends to amplify those annoyances. My boyfriend of 6 six years, always changes plans in the last second which drives me insane. It was the cause of our first fight and it is still a problem. But now it works to my advantage.
Be honest about what you like.
In the beginning of a relationship, most girls try to be that easy-going girlfriend. It’s hard to tell your partner what you like and don’t like. According to my friends the longer you wait to tell the person your with, the harder it is. Even gift giving can be a problem. For example, every time my friend got a gift from her boyfriend (now husband) it was never her style. She felt bad telling him, so she kept her mouth shut. The problem is many years later she kept getting gifts that didn’t suit her. Finally, she told him and may have hurt his feelings, but now she gets things she actually likes and uses.
Learn how to apologize.
It’s easy as girls to want to throw the blame on our partner when we get angry. Especially when we are on the PMSing and we know we sound crazy. The truth is it’s not always their fault. Both partners have to learn to apologize and talk through their issues.
Never stop going on dates.
Once you hit a certain year in your relationship the number of dates tend to dwindle down. It’s easy and cost saving just to Netflix and chill. The problem is that once you stop making an effort to dress up and go on dates then you lose the courtship. The feeling of why you guys got together in the first place. As a couple you must learn to keep the habit of dating. It’s important to take the time to plan a date night. Going on special outing will feel like you did when you first started dating, minus all the awkwardness. This is even more important after you have children.
Understand that men think differently.
What is obvious to us women sometimes seems obvious to men. Like picking up socks that have been on the floor for a week. We can’t change their small habits, but we can change how we react to them. I don’t mean let them do whatever they want, just learn to react in a way that solves a problem. One friend says she just throws his junk or dirty clothes in his office, so it becomes an inconvenience to him and not her. Problem solved!
-Denise